Puzzled

Tariff by Michelle Boisseau poem really caught my attention mainly because it had me confused all types of ways. By simply reading the title I thought I had an idea of what it was going to be about. After I actually read it I was puzzled. I had to actually read it various times in order to get an idea of what the poem is actually about.

By reading the title "Tariff" I immediately thought of something political or financial like taxes.  Then from reading the poem, it really when to something completely different then I was expecting. What I got from the first time reading the poem was the authour mentioning about on old friendship that where she passed away twenty years ago and her having to do with her death.

The first stanza was straight forward it was just mainly the second one that still has me questioning? It was time to look more in detail and braked down each line and then connect all my thoughts together.

From just reading the first sentence I can conclude that she feels guilty or responsible in a way for the loss of her friend. From lines 4-6 we can inference her friend committed suicide by jumping in front of an "on-coming truck" after making her unhappy the night before (5). Boisseau obviously has something to do with is for she mentions "What I did to hurt her I won't tell you"(8).

After reading the poem and having an idea of what it was about it left me wondering why the author chooses to name the poem "Tariff" and after much analyzation and with the help of Google I came up with the conclusion. Tariff means "a tax or duty to be paid" although Boisseau is not talking about money or tax, but is mentioning it metaphorically as to paying with guilt. All tieing up to the last line of stanza two she ends with "you understand the ways you have to pay" (Boisseau 17).

She obviously still feels this guilt on an everyday basis for her to still carry it for over twenty years. Especially how she mentions in the second stanza "turning over heavy marl" which means a turning a heavy mudstone.

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Even though I understand most of the poem after reading it various times I still have few questions.
Why did the author not want to tell us what she did?
What does the author mean by getting dirty?
Why are the words "appreciate" and "price" italicized?